To have a fulfilling sex life, it is essential to be honest with your partner and to share your desires with him / her. Once you’ve verbalized what to expect from your sex life, you’ll be much more likely to get it! In addition, exploring your sexual fantasies can give you valuable information about your true desires.
Sharing your deepest desires can frighten more than one. Few couples openly talk about sex and manage to express their desires. But know that communication is the essential element of a fulfilling sex life.
Imagine you are planning a trip. Where would you like to go? For how long ? What activities would you like to do? Know that planning does not take away from spontaneity, it simply allows you to enrich the possibilities. Just like you would plan a trip, it is important to plan your erotic life. For full sexual fulfillment, you need to talk about your sexual desires and take those of your partner into account. It can be something very intimate and romantic, but it can also spark a heated discussion. We must therefore choose the right time and especially the right way to approach the subject. You will certainly discover things that you never knew about your partner’s desires. You will also clear up gray areas and eliminate misconceptions. Discussing and negotiating your sexual desires together can only improve your relationship and your sex life. Just make sure you have an open mind and don’t be judgmental! Approach it with curiosity and get to know your partner. Dare to speak inevitably leads to more pleasure and more intimacy and above all, it boosts desire!
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Some simple questions to talk about sex
If you are new to sharing your desires, start with simple questions:
– What do you like about body contact? Do you prefer gentle caresses or a deep massage?
– Are there any parts of your body that particularly turn you on? Others less?
-What daily ailments do you need to feel loved?
Once the communication is established, you will be able to discuss more intimate subjects:
– Is there something you’ve always wanted to try and never done before?
– What fantasies do you want to realize?
– Have you ever wanted to be blindfolded or tied up?
– Is there a movie scene that particularly excites you?
– Are there any accessories and sextoys that you would like to use? Or others to proscribe?
– What are your limits?
– Have you ever been tempted by group sex, or by swinging?
– Do you find more sexual pleasure in certain positions in particular?
– Do you feel pleasure in “pain”? (pinching, nibbling, whipping, …)
The important thing is to have an open and relaxed conversation about sex. The more you talk about sex with your partner, the more free and confident you will feel when it comes to talking about your cravings. You can also express your wishes in the heat of the moment.
For more tips, read our article on how initiate sex.
