Few people realize that loneliness can produce a feeling of terrible dread. For some, loneliness lies in not having a friend to share outings, problems, moments. For others, however, loneliness has more to do with an urgent need to feel understood and loved.
The social media revolution is making us each an expert, almost compulsive, at self-promotion, at marketing ourselves. Everyone shows themselves in their best light and highlights their work, personal successes, power and social status.
When this whole social strategy fails, when we don’t feel accepted and / or recognized, a sense of frustration comes over us. It is an uncontrollable fear of being isolated, of failure, after a recent breakup or because of disappointment or grief. Our society plunges us into a kind of competition where love is a form of recognition, a trophy to be won, regardless of our real personal needs.
However, loneliness is not necessarily harmful, it is even sometimes necessary in order to think about what is really important and to strengthen our esteem.
When the fear of loneliness increases and develops, it often gets out of hand, triggering what appears to be a natural defense mechanism. We then live in fear of ourselves, of abandonment.
People with these symptoms tend to bond immediately and undemandingly, the only goal being to not feel alone. In this sense, social media is used as a kind of emergency refuge to fuel the illusion that we will never be abandoned.
This is why it is so very important to learn to take advantage of these moments of solitude. Accepting who we are is the main resource and the best way to overcome the fear of being alone with oneself.
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5 tips to overcome the fear of loneliness
- Learn to relax your mind and not accept everything as immutable truths. Loneliness is not a defect, and as the expression says so well: « better to be alone than in bad company ».
- Reorganize your schedule in order to give yourself a privileged place: how many hours per week, will you be dedicated exclusively to yourself? Try to define a list of priorities.
3. Cultivate new habits, appreciate and enjoy what you do. It can be a special activity, contemplating a landscape, listening to music,… Try to practice visualization exercises for at least 15 minutes a day, focusing on an image that generates serenity in you. These habits help you calm your thoughts and connect you with your emotions.
4. Be your best friend. Try to be the first to take advantage of what’s going on around you, without trying to share everything with someone or on social media. Loneliness can be great company. As the philosopher said Michel de Montaigne : « Loneliness is a moment of fullness ».
5. One-on-one coaching sessions can teach you to understand and overcome how we make our own fears. There are emotional management tools that can overcome the fear of loneliness in a short period of time, our beliefs and obsessions often unfounded.
