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When sex is difficult, if not impossible
Vaginismus is an involuntary perivaginal muscle contraction that prevents women from having sex with their partner because it causes unbearable pain, which makes penetration impossible.
The genitals are normal and have no pathology, but as soon as the penis enters, the vagina involuntarily retracts and causes severe pain that is impossible to bear. Sex is painful, the thighs are closed and the muscles of the vagina are contracted. Apart from the suffering associated with painful intercourse, gynecological smear tests are difficult to perform, as is the insertion of a tampon.
Different types of vaginismus
There are two types of malfunctions:
– primary vaginismus, which appears at the start of a woman’s sexual life and lasts
– secondary vaginismus, which appears later, whereas until then there was no problem linked to penetration.
Vaginismus is considered a general condition when it occurs in all situations: during sex, when a tampon or speculum is inserted into the vagina. However, vaginismus is considered partial when it only occurs in special circumstances, with certain people. This psychological problem is akin to a phobic fear of penetration. Just like the eye closes reflexively when an external element is introduced into it, the fear of penetration is an unconscious automatism.
Causes of vaginismus
We speak of primary vaginismus when the woman does not generally know her body or her privacy well enough. Often we imagine an intact hymen, a small vagina, where there would be no room for a penis. The source of the problem may be a lack of education or experience in sex. In this case, it is a superficial problem. However, vaginismus can also be of psychological origin: even being aware of your body and vagina, penetration remains impossible. Painful trauma such as a negative first experience or sexual abuse during youth could explain the problem.
When it comes to secondary vaginismus, dyspareunia (pain during intercourse) is often the cause of the dysfunction. The fear of suffering constricts the muscles and the body wants to fight the pain. It can also appear after experiencing an emotional shock, after a relationship with an awkward or aggressive partner, or after discovering developed an STD.
Possible treatments
Fortunately, it is possible to overcome this hell. When the problem is superficial, with a few sessions of sex therapy, you can « tame » the vagina, and get to know your body better. In addition, one learns to perform exercises to help control one’s body and relax the muscles of the vagina. Many doctors recommend the use of a dildo or one female sextoy to familiarize yourself with vaginal penetration.
If the cause is psychological, long-term therapy can resolve these concerns so that you can enjoy a painless sex life.
The impact on married life
Women who suffer from vaginismus are usually in deep despair and do not dare to talk about it. However, when their partner is listening, some manage to develop a sexuality without penetration, with the help of their imagination and of the caresses. However, it is important to treat vaginismus, whatever the cause, in order to relieve this discomfort and to be able to have children.
